Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
