she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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