what day is it and did you see me today?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize