i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
