Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
