people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
