Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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