I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
