but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize