Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
