9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
