everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
