I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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