he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
