I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
