I just pynch a tree in the face
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
