i may or may not be watching the land before time
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
