they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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