I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
