you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
