I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
pray to the hookup gods
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
