im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
