Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
