That's intense
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
