I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
