No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
