quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
