This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
