Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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