Your tits are I can't wait for
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize