Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
