i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize