She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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