dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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