Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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