we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
