I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
