a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
