Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Houston, we have a squirter
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
