just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
foreskin is a definite game changer
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize