I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
