Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
