Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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