Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
