The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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