sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
