I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
