You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
