come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize