you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
