You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
