Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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