If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You have to summon your inner elephant
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
