You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
