it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
