I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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