She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
