ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
