All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
