Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We're too hungover to prance.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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