I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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