Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
