Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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