I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
