singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
