bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
