It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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