The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
