whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
