I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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