I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
