How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
NoShamevember. You game?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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