Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
this beer tastes like vomit already
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
