Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
