where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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