Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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