No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
